|Reflective essay|
It is difficult to really evaluate my time as an Undergraduate student without thinking about the impact that it has had on me for the past year. I have come to learn not only what it means to be a teacher, but what it means to be a good student by way of teaching. Prior to my TA experience, I would have never considered myself a teacher or even someone who was good at teaching. What I realized, however, was that none of this mattered for my future as a UTA. Good teachers are not built with strict guides and rulebooks, but through the process of discovery. This process of discovery is something that I have become very confident with as a English Literature and Writing student, and is exactly what prepared me to be a teacher in my undergraduate studies and continue to be a teacher as I make my way through my professional career. Although seemingly limited to my experience as a UTA, my understanding of the process of writing as discovery and critical thinking, deconstruction of student versus teacher divisions and focus on discussions as a vital form of learning has made me the student and thinker I am today.
One of the most important things that I repeat to my students and to myself is this adage that “writing is a process.” I think that this idea is so important to the critical understanding of writing, not as a search for perfection, but as a search for personal understanding and growth. In Donald Murray article, “Teach Writing as a Process Not a Product,” much of what he discusses relates to the shift in teaching writing that went away from it being seen as correct or incorrect, and instead viewing it as a “process of discovery through language.” I think that this is so incredibly valuable when thinking about the ways in which it inspires student writing rather than restricting the places that writing can take someone. This concept from Murray is something that really helped me when giving feedback or advice for students writing. Rather than being highly critical with no room for growth, the concept of writing being about discovery allows for it to become a more holistic process. Grades can be completely soul crushing when given without consideration for the future of a piece of writing. Therefore, when I was able to instead elicit hope for recovery with certain students writing, that is where some of the most focused and intentional writing occurred.
Much of what the following concept supports comes from the article by John Bean, “How Writing is Related to Critical Thinking,” where he focuses on the trends in writing pedagogy that stress that writing begins with disorder. He asserts that rather than viewing writing from a dualistic right verses wrong approach, writing should be taught as a form of critical thinking. This comes from the “critical thinking movement,” which gives space to students for writing as a process. I fully believe in this strategy, and it was not until I had encountered this thought that I realized why I love writing so much and why it has preoccupied so much of my thought in my undergraduate years. When a student completes a paper, they should never feel a sense of finality or feel that they are complete. Even after you turn in a paper, there is still this feeling of “oh I wish I had mentioned this” or “I wonder why I wrote about this?” These are the kinds of questions that a great writing course can leave you with, and it is something that I actively tried to incorporate in my style of teaching and mentoring for students writing.
One of the things that especially came as a surprise to me in my first semester as a TA, was just how much it was stressed that I assert my own authority in the classroom. While I do think that I inherently have some level of power and authority as a TA and former student, I also came to somewhat hate this concept. I think that my position should not garner any amount of fear, but respect. Creating a connection with certain students and forming the classroom into a community is one thing that can really impact the course experience for many students. In the Parker Palmer article, “A Culture of Fear,” this concept is discussed not just on the basis of creating a community, but also by emphasizing the various ways that typical academic spaces encourage us to distance ourselves from our students. From the very beginning of my first semester as a UTA, this article played a key role forming my deconstructed understanding of classroom dynamics. I knew that I really wanted to challenge the classroom systems that had previously elicited a level of fear in myself and formed a sort of boundary between myself, as a student, and the professor. Throughout my time as a UTA, I really worked to create an inclusive space that was not based in fear, but instead based on respect and curiosity.
Part of this sense of community was built off of class-based discussions. Some of my favorite classes have been discussion-based, which is part of the reason why I have become so passionate about English Literature and Writing courses. A person in a discussion course is not given gold stars for saying the perfect thing or “answering the questions correctly,” but instead inspires students to speak up for their own ideas and thoughts. Relating back to my previous point, some of the best comments are made when the professor is almost completely left out of the discussion. In “Discussion as a Way of Teaching,” the most ideal kinds of discussion in a classroom are those that eliminate a single source of power and authority within a conversation. In my classes discussions, we would always begin by asking the students a simple question: “So what did you think of the readings?” This allows for the students to powerfully lead discussion in whatever direction they choose. It is no longer dictated by me or the professor, but guided by the students themselves, which directs conversation towards more thoughtful and provocative places. A shared communal experience is built when everyone feels valued, and part of this comes when students’ thoughts stand at the forefront.
As I conclude my time as a UTA and as an undergraduate student, I hope to consider all of the following ideas and concepts and consider the ways in which they have shaped me and prepared me for the future. I feel so lucky to have been able to work with some of the amazing students that I have had over the two semesters, and I cannot even begin to thank my instructor, Caroline, who has made this time so positive. She has challenged me to be a better student and inspired me to continue toward a path of discovery for myself. I cannot imagine a more fulfilling and inspiring internship to end my undergraduate days with, and I am excited to see how it will affect my days to come.
One of the most important things that I repeat to my students and to myself is this adage that “writing is a process.” I think that this idea is so important to the critical understanding of writing, not as a search for perfection, but as a search for personal understanding and growth. In Donald Murray article, “Teach Writing as a Process Not a Product,” much of what he discusses relates to the shift in teaching writing that went away from it being seen as correct or incorrect, and instead viewing it as a “process of discovery through language.” I think that this is so incredibly valuable when thinking about the ways in which it inspires student writing rather than restricting the places that writing can take someone. This concept from Murray is something that really helped me when giving feedback or advice for students writing. Rather than being highly critical with no room for growth, the concept of writing being about discovery allows for it to become a more holistic process. Grades can be completely soul crushing when given without consideration for the future of a piece of writing. Therefore, when I was able to instead elicit hope for recovery with certain students writing, that is where some of the most focused and intentional writing occurred.
Much of what the following concept supports comes from the article by John Bean, “How Writing is Related to Critical Thinking,” where he focuses on the trends in writing pedagogy that stress that writing begins with disorder. He asserts that rather than viewing writing from a dualistic right verses wrong approach, writing should be taught as a form of critical thinking. This comes from the “critical thinking movement,” which gives space to students for writing as a process. I fully believe in this strategy, and it was not until I had encountered this thought that I realized why I love writing so much and why it has preoccupied so much of my thought in my undergraduate years. When a student completes a paper, they should never feel a sense of finality or feel that they are complete. Even after you turn in a paper, there is still this feeling of “oh I wish I had mentioned this” or “I wonder why I wrote about this?” These are the kinds of questions that a great writing course can leave you with, and it is something that I actively tried to incorporate in my style of teaching and mentoring for students writing.
One of the things that especially came as a surprise to me in my first semester as a TA, was just how much it was stressed that I assert my own authority in the classroom. While I do think that I inherently have some level of power and authority as a TA and former student, I also came to somewhat hate this concept. I think that my position should not garner any amount of fear, but respect. Creating a connection with certain students and forming the classroom into a community is one thing that can really impact the course experience for many students. In the Parker Palmer article, “A Culture of Fear,” this concept is discussed not just on the basis of creating a community, but also by emphasizing the various ways that typical academic spaces encourage us to distance ourselves from our students. From the very beginning of my first semester as a UTA, this article played a key role forming my deconstructed understanding of classroom dynamics. I knew that I really wanted to challenge the classroom systems that had previously elicited a level of fear in myself and formed a sort of boundary between myself, as a student, and the professor. Throughout my time as a UTA, I really worked to create an inclusive space that was not based in fear, but instead based on respect and curiosity.
Part of this sense of community was built off of class-based discussions. Some of my favorite classes have been discussion-based, which is part of the reason why I have become so passionate about English Literature and Writing courses. A person in a discussion course is not given gold stars for saying the perfect thing or “answering the questions correctly,” but instead inspires students to speak up for their own ideas and thoughts. Relating back to my previous point, some of the best comments are made when the professor is almost completely left out of the discussion. In “Discussion as a Way of Teaching,” the most ideal kinds of discussion in a classroom are those that eliminate a single source of power and authority within a conversation. In my classes discussions, we would always begin by asking the students a simple question: “So what did you think of the readings?” This allows for the students to powerfully lead discussion in whatever direction they choose. It is no longer dictated by me or the professor, but guided by the students themselves, which directs conversation towards more thoughtful and provocative places. A shared communal experience is built when everyone feels valued, and part of this comes when students’ thoughts stand at the forefront.
As I conclude my time as a UTA and as an undergraduate student, I hope to consider all of the following ideas and concepts and consider the ways in which they have shaped me and prepared me for the future. I feel so lucky to have been able to work with some of the amazing students that I have had over the two semesters, and I cannot even begin to thank my instructor, Caroline, who has made this time so positive. She has challenged me to be a better student and inspired me to continue toward a path of discovery for myself. I cannot imagine a more fulfilling and inspiring internship to end my undergraduate days with, and I am excited to see how it will affect my days to come.